Life as it Should Have Been
by Gypsy Feet
Summary: In which everyone gets a happy ending. Oneshot


**Life as it Should Have Been**

**Disclaimer:** I clearly don't own it.

**Warning:** un-betaed. Also, my first attempt at humorous writing and in this fandom in too long.

**Set at the end of the first movie.**

-

"It's right here, between you and Jack."

James Norrington prayed that the subtext there was unintentional, he certainly didn't fancy the—

"There's hope for you yet, my boy!" Everyone turned to Sparrow and watched in a muted brand of amazement as he somehow managed to trip three marines and put everything in such a state of confusion that no one quite understood what was going on. Then he, as calm as can be, sauntered up to the Governor and placed a blade (exactly _when_ he'd procured that James had no idea)to his neck. "I would like you all to know that I have acquired a hostage."

A parrot flew past.

"Jack!" Elizabeth cried, her expression scandalized.

"Yes?"

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I should think that it's rather obvious," a pause and then he turned with a frown to Turner, "Behind me, you fool! Or do you fancy having that lovely costume littered with bullet holes?"

All this time he'd been backing up to the wall of the fort.

"Men! This is the day you can say you almost caught Captain Ja—"

-

He watched in a detached sort of bewilderment as the man overbalanced and toppled over the wall, dragging both the boy and the Governor sans his wig with him.

-

"You're taking off your cravat, sir," offered Gillette helpfully.

"So I am."

"Why sir?"

James sighed as he removed his tricorn, coat and wig. He placed these in an officer's arms and toed off his boots. Walked over to Elizabeth and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"I'm going to save the Governor."

Then James Norrington, acting Commodore for His Majesty's Navy, jumped off his own fort in pursuit of a renegade blacksmith, an infamous pirate and his future father-in-law.

-

Upon further consideration, James decided that he should have perhaps taken off his waistcoat as well.

-

"James!" Weatherby spluttered.

"James!" Jack Sparrow exclaimed.

"Sir," William greeted.

"Hello," James said, then promptly punched the pirate in the face.

"What was that for?"

"I'm currently engaged in a brawl with you and Mr Turner over who gets to keep the Governor. I will win, you two will swim off to your boat," there was a whispered "Ship!" that he ignored. "Then I will marry Elizabeth and live happily ever after."

-

The fistfight that ensued was quite painful and extremely confusing. He thinks Will might have given him a black eye and is fairly certain that the boot that got him squarely in the groin belonged to the Governor, who was very apt at getting in the way. James is also fairly certain that Jack kissed him at one stage.

On the lips.

-

"Oh," he added as an afterthought, they both turned. "Don't let me catch you!"

-

It was a compromise of sorts, everyone lost out. Except Jack, Jack got everything. But he and Turner both came out with slightly less than they had hoped for. James still suspected he had got the better end of the deal, since he had Elizabeth, and he'd never been that keen on hanging Jack, truth be told.

Well then, William lost out.

Poor sod.

-

By the time he had managed to get himself and the Governor to the docks there was a rather large crowd of spectators, his two Lieutenants and Elizabeth were at the front.

He was most thankful for their presence when they dragged the portly man out of the water and cleared the way for him.

-

Standing there, with a pier solid beneath his bare feet, James decided that his fist was sore and that he should like to kiss Elizabeth. So he did, his mind cluttered with poetical and romantic things he should be saying instead. After a moment she was pushing back into him quite inappropriately in front of everyone and the idea of Mrs Jennings getting all a-flustered over it made him laugh.

He brushed his smile against hers one last time before spinning her around and around, her arms fast around his neck and hat poking into his cheek.

Her dress was ruined.

-

"You're quite changed, James," she tells him as he walks her back to the Swan Mansion.

"No I'm not," he says, because he hasn't and feels she should know it, "You're just looking properly for once."

-

"Do you have any regrets?"

She turns to him, escaping tangles of hair dancing in the wind.

"Yes," she whispers simply, "But I'm happy."

"I suppose that'll have to do."

In reply she kisses him, just shy of his lips, and sways off, as if she knows what she's gone and done.

James crosses his legs uncomfortably and counts the seconds till nightfall.

-

The End.

(Sorry for all the crack.)


End file.
